Post by l u a on Aug 9, 2008 21:24:04 GMT
first draft of plot for 'cielo', a horse site i'm opening.
tell me what you think, what you don't understand, and what you think might make it better. (:
cielo was once a quiet spanish farming village, known for its wide variety of horse breeds and skills. cielo was where men would go for quality horses. something about the site seemed to influence the simple aspects of the common horse and shape them. some were blessed with agility, some with speed, some with confidence and some with stamina. one thing remained common throughout- the horses of cielo possessed an intelligence only seen of man before. and once taken away from cielo, this was something they lost.
when man died out, the horses of cielo found themselves free to roam. many left, and found themselves no longer intelligent- a process of weeks, months, but a process no less. and when intelligence was lost, it was lost forever. horses in their thousands returned, but never regained the intelligence they had. cast out by those who had stayed, they returned to the life of a normal horse, retaining strength and agility which died with them.
the horses who had remained in cielo bred and thrived. some refused to breed with any who were not of their bloodline, others bred with whoever they could. old breeds died out, new breeds were born, some horses were just muddles of many breeds prior to them. outside mares were sometimes used, but their fawns were born on cielo ground- and kept on cielo ground. it was almost taboo to leave, and sense taught them that it was not worth it. they lived lives in happiness, forming families, living as one large herd. then castil was born.
he was born with power. few horses had this trait- it was not simple, but he possessed it. by the age of four, he had brought together a band of horses, mainly those of strength, to form a close-knit government. he chose the dimmer, seeing that this would mean that what he chose was what was chosen. by eight, he had taken hold of the entire herd, a dictator. he drew together an army, and they were brutal with the herd. any mare he demanded was his, horses who opposed him 'disappeared'. he allowed the family groups to stay together, but kept a close eye on any he found suspicious.
another four years on, castil's hold is still strong. but rumours have sprung about a band of rebels, living in the mountains of cielo. guarded by forest and still on the sacred ground of their homeland, the horses are said to herd as they did, comprising of only the best stallions and their mares, led by the only stallion with intelligence to challenge that of castil. no one knows how they escaped here, but they did. word got to castil, and furious, he demanded knowledge of their whereabouts. many were captured and tortured, but any searches for the rebels failed. they are untraceable and showered in myth, only the occasional stag and his favoured mare selected to join them. many of the herd have tried to escape castil's grip and join them, but have never succeeded. foals tell occasionally of meeting with powerful stallion who leads them, but can give little more information. all that is known is this; they exist, they are strong, and they are cielo's only chance of salvation.
tell me what you think, what you don't understand, and what you think might make it better. (:
cielo was once a quiet spanish farming village, known for its wide variety of horse breeds and skills. cielo was where men would go for quality horses. something about the site seemed to influence the simple aspects of the common horse and shape them. some were blessed with agility, some with speed, some with confidence and some with stamina. one thing remained common throughout- the horses of cielo possessed an intelligence only seen of man before. and once taken away from cielo, this was something they lost.
when man died out, the horses of cielo found themselves free to roam. many left, and found themselves no longer intelligent- a process of weeks, months, but a process no less. and when intelligence was lost, it was lost forever. horses in their thousands returned, but never regained the intelligence they had. cast out by those who had stayed, they returned to the life of a normal horse, retaining strength and agility which died with them.
the horses who had remained in cielo bred and thrived. some refused to breed with any who were not of their bloodline, others bred with whoever they could. old breeds died out, new breeds were born, some horses were just muddles of many breeds prior to them. outside mares were sometimes used, but their fawns were born on cielo ground- and kept on cielo ground. it was almost taboo to leave, and sense taught them that it was not worth it. they lived lives in happiness, forming families, living as one large herd. then castil was born.
he was born with power. few horses had this trait- it was not simple, but he possessed it. by the age of four, he had brought together a band of horses, mainly those of strength, to form a close-knit government. he chose the dimmer, seeing that this would mean that what he chose was what was chosen. by eight, he had taken hold of the entire herd, a dictator. he drew together an army, and they were brutal with the herd. any mare he demanded was his, horses who opposed him 'disappeared'. he allowed the family groups to stay together, but kept a close eye on any he found suspicious.
another four years on, castil's hold is still strong. but rumours have sprung about a band of rebels, living in the mountains of cielo. guarded by forest and still on the sacred ground of their homeland, the horses are said to herd as they did, comprising of only the best stallions and their mares, led by the only stallion with intelligence to challenge that of castil. no one knows how they escaped here, but they did. word got to castil, and furious, he demanded knowledge of their whereabouts. many were captured and tortured, but any searches for the rebels failed. they are untraceable and showered in myth, only the occasional stag and his favoured mare selected to join them. many of the herd have tried to escape castil's grip and join them, but have never succeeded. foals tell occasionally of meeting with powerful stallion who leads them, but can give little more information. all that is known is this; they exist, they are strong, and they are cielo's only chance of salvation.
we'll need some good rpers to start off with anyway, as i have little intention of playing the big evil bad guy. it just doesn't appeal to me, :')